"I Died and Came Back": How Medical Professionals Can Respond to a Patient’s Disclosure of a Near-Death Experience

By Dr. Lily Amorous
The NDE Connexion | www.thendeconnexion.com.au

Introduction

Imagine this: You’ve just treated a patient who suffered a cardiac arrest. They're now awake, stable, and alert—but then they look at you and say quietly, “I went somewhere. I saw a light. I left my body.”

What do you say?

For many medical professionals, this moment can be disorienting. Your training may have prepared you to handle physical trauma, surgical interventions, or high-pressure decision-making—but what about spiritual disclosures that defy scientific explanation?

Near-death experiences (NDEs) are reported by people across cultures, ages, and belief systems. Despite their prevalence, they are often misunderstood, dismissed, or ignored in clinical settings. And yet, for patients, they can be among the most significant and transformative events of their lives.

This article offers a guide to help doctors, nurses, paramedics, and other medical practitioners navigate these disclosures with sensitivity, professionalism, and presence. It’s not about believing or disbelieving. It’s about responding with humanity.

What Is a Near-Death Experience?

A near-death experience is a profound psychological event that can occur when someone is close to death or in a situation of intense physical or emotional danger. Common elements include:

• A sense of leaving the body

• Traveling through a tunnel

• Encountering a bright light or beings of light

• Reviewing one’s life

• Feeling a deep sense of peace or unconditional love

• Being told “it’s not your time” and returning to the body

These experiences are often described as more real than ordinary consciousness. They may occur during cardiac arrest, severe trauma, anesthesia, coma, or drowning—and sometimes even in the absence of measurable clinical death.

Estimates suggest that 10–20% of people who are resuscitated report NDEs. That means if you’re working in emergency or critical care, you’ve likely treated someone who has had one—even if they didn’t say so.

Why These Disclosures Matter

To the medical system, an NDE might appear to be a psychological side effect or an anomaly. But to the person who experienced it, it may be:

• A turning point in their spiritual or existential beliefs

• A catalyst for lifestyle changes or emotional healing

• A source of confusion, awe, or distress

• Something they’ve told no one else, ever

How you respond in the moment of disclosure can have lasting consequences for that person’s recovery, integration, and mental wellbeing.

Even a small gesture of validation can:

• Reduce trauma symptoms or spiritual crisis

• Foster trust in the patient-provider relationship

• Encourage the patient to continue seeking appropriate psychological or spiritual support

• Protect against feelings of isolation, shame, or being "crazy"

Common Challenges for Clinicians

Many clinicians report feeling uncertain or ill-equipped when faced with disclosures of unusual or metaphysical experiences. Common internal reactions might include:

• This doesn’t fit what I learned in medical school.

• I don’t want to validate a hallucination.

• What if they’re having a psychotic break?

• I don’t know what to say, so I’ll say nothing.

These reactions are understandable. Most medical training doesn’t prepare professionals to talk about non-ordinary experiences. However, your response doesn’t need to be theological, metaphysical, or diagnostic. It just needs to be humane and kind.

Step-by-Step: How to Respond When a Patient Discloses an NDE

1. Stay Present

This might sound simple, but it’s the most important step. Pause. Make eye contact. Have open and engaging body language. Take a breath. Let them know, silently or verbally, that you’re here. 

Avoid changing the subject, interrupting, or shifting immediately into clinical mode. Just be there with them for a moment.

2. Listen Without Judgement

Use reflective listening:

• “That sounds like a very powerful experience.”

• “Would you like to tell me more?”

• “It sounds like that meant a lot to you.”

Don’t probe or try to analyse. Let the patient lead.

Avoid responses like:

• “That was probably just the medication.”

• “You were unconscious—it wasn’t real.”

• “That’s just what happens when the brain is dying.”

• “I don't think you should tell anyone about that

Even if well-intentioned, these kinds of responses can feel deeply invalidating.

3. Respect the Sacredness of the Experience

Whether or not you share the patient’s beliefs, treat their account with reverence. For many people, their NDE is the most spiritually significant experience of their life. It’s not a symptom. It’s not a delusion. It’s a story of the soul.

You might say:

• “Many people have shared similar experiences after close brushes with death.”

• “It’s okay if it’s hard to put into words. You’re safe to talk here.”

• “You’re not alone—others have felt this too.”

4. Validate the Meaning, Not Just the Phenomenon

You don’t need to verify what “really happened.” What matters is what the experience means to the patient.

Ask:

• “How has this experience affected you?”

• “What would you like me to understand about it?”

• “Has this changed anything for you since waking up?”

This lets the patient move from the strange and ineffable into the personal and meaningful.

Red Flags vs. Green Lights: When to Refer

NDEs can often result in psychological distress, even if it was a “positive NDE” —especially if the person:

• Is confused about how to integrate the experience

• Feels isolated or spiritually disoriented

• Has unresolved trauma around the medical event

• Develops existential anxiety or a sense of "not belonging" in the world

Red flags that suggest the need for follow-up or referral:

• Intense distress or confusion related to the experience

• Functional impairment (e.g., inability to work, eat, sleep)

• Thoughts of wanting to “go back” or feeling detached from life

• History of psychosis or signs of dissociation

Green lights for integration support:

• Patient expresses peace but wants to explore the experience more

• Patient reports behavioral changes (diet, purpose, values) but is coping well

• Patient is curious or emotionally moved, not overwhelmed

Appropriate referrals include:

• Therapists trained in spiritual emergence or transpersonal psychology

• NDE integration groups or peer support circles

• Chaplains or spiritual care providers with open-minded frameworks

You can also refer to professional directories or support networks like:

• IANDS (International Association for Near-Death Studies)

• The NDE Connexion (Australia-based support, therapy, and referral)

What If You’re Not Spiritually Oriented?

You don’t need to believe in an afterlife, consciousness outside the body, or any particular spiritual view. Your role is not to confirm or deny their story—it’s to respect it.

Try saying:

• “This is outside my expertise, but I respect that you have experienced this.”

• “I’ve heard that some people go through something like this—it’s more common than we talk about.”

• “Thank you for trusting me with something so personal.”

Being a supportive witness is sometimes more powerful than being an expert.

Why Silence Can Be Harmful

Sadly, many experiencers report being shut down when they first tried to talk about their NDEs. Comments like:

• “That’s just the drugs.”

• “It was a dream.”

• “Don’t tell anybody”

• “Don’t talk like that.” can leave lasting scars.

Silence, too, can be harmful. A patient who courageously opens up only to be met with a blank stare or awkward shift in topic may retreat, feel shame, or mistrust future caregivers. Arguing about whether they actually died or not, and the existence of “God”, or the clinician putting focus on themselves and/or outwardly showing fear towards the NDEr, are not helpful ways of helping a patient feel heard, safe, and supported.

Conversely, a simple moment of acknowledgment—“That sounds profound”—can be healing beyond measure.

Creating a Culture of Compassion in Medical Settings

As more patients come forward, and as the science of consciousness evolves, NDEs are becoming increasingly discussed in academic and clinical circles. Still, stigma remains.

You can be a part of the shift by:

• Encouraging colleagues to attend workshops on spiritual experiences

• Including patient spirituality in intake forms and care planning

• Normalising language like: “Some patients have shared unusual experiences—feel free to tell us anything meaningful to you.”

• Consulting with chaplains or mental health staff when spiritual phenomena arise

Final Thoughts: Medicine Meets Mystery

As a medical professional, you’re trained to bring people back from the brink of death. Sometimes, they come back with stories that challenge everything we know about consciousness, healing, life, and reality.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to stay open.

Because at the heart of medicine is not just science—it’s listening. It’s presence. It’s bearing witness to the mysteries of life, death, and everything in between.

So when a patient says, “I died… and came back,” don’t rush to explain it away.

Just pause.

And say, “I’m listening.”

Further Resources

• The NDE Connexion – Australia-based NDE support, therapy, and group resources: www.thendeconnexion.com.au

• IANDS (International Association for Near-Death Studies) – Research, education, and peer support: www.iands.org

• Spiritual Competency Academy – Training for clinicians in spiritual and culturally responsive care: www.spiritualcompetency.com

• Book: "The Handbook of Near-Death Experiences: Thirty Years of Investigation" (Holden, Greyson, James) – A resource for professionals

• Journal: Journal of Near-Death Studies – Peer-reviewed articles on NDE phenomena

Dr Lily Amorous
The NDE Connexion | www.thendeconnexion.com.au