Holding Space for the Sacred: How to Support Someone After a Near-Death Experience
Dr Lily Amorous
The NDE Connexion
When someone you love or work with has had a near-death experience (NDE), it can feel as though they’ve gone somewhere beyond—and returned with a soul you both recognise and don’t. They may carry the memory of light, peace, beings, or vast cosmic knowledge. Or they may have returned through the darkness of a void, a tunnel, or a place they struggle to describe. However their journey unfolded, their return is rarely simple.
What many people don’t realise is that the most challenging part of an NDE isn’t necessarily what happened on “the other side”—it’s the part that comes afterward.
This is known as the re-entry. And it’s where you, as a supporter, companion, or professional, play an essential role.
In this blog, we’ll explore how to support someone who has had an NDE with compassion, clarity, and care—so they can integrate their experience into life with dignity, safety, and meaning.
Understanding What They’ve Been Through
1. What Is a Near-Death Experience?
An NDE typically occurs when someone is close to physical death or clinically dead and then revived. These experiences vary widely, but common elements include:
Leaving the body or viewing it from above
Traveling through a tunnel or portal
Encountering beings of light or deceased loved ones
Life review or panoramic awareness
Feelings of peace, unity, and unconditional love
Being told or deciding to return to life
But not all NDEs are blissful. Some may involve darkness, confusion, or distress, often known as “distressing NDEs.” Regardless of content, the experience tends to radically shift the person’s understanding of life, self, and the universe.
2. The Aftereffects Are Profound
Many people return from an NDE with powerful changes. These may include:
A sense of life purpose or mission
Loss of fear of death
Heightened empathy or intuitive ability
Electrical or energetic sensitivity
A desire to change jobs, relationships, or life direction
Difficulty reintegrating into daily life
Some feel overwhelmed by grief about returning or confusion about how to live in a world that now feels foreign. These are not just spiritual insights—they are whole-person transformations that ripple through every aspect of life.
The First Rule: Don’t Dismiss Their Experience
One of the most healing things you can do is believe them.
They’ve had a profound, subjective, life-changing experience. Whether or not it fits within your worldview, whether or not you fully understand it—it is real to them.
Avoid saying things like:
“It was just the brain shutting down.”
“That sounds like a dream.”
“You must have been hallucinating.”
Even well-meaning attempts to explain can sound like invalidation. Instead, try:
“That sounds incredibly powerful. How are you feeling now?”
“Would you like to share more?”
“I believe you.”
Emotional Support: Creating Safe Space
1. Let Them Tell Their Story—In Their Own Time
Some people want to talk about their NDE right away. Others need weeks, months, or even years before they can put it into words. Respect their timing. Let them lead.
When they are ready, listen without interruption or interpretation. Just be present.
Your role is not to analyse—it’s to witness.
2. Validate Their Emotions
Returning from an NDE often stirs powerful, mixed emotions: awe, grief, longing, guilt, joy, confusion. Some feel euphoric; others feel depressed. Many feel both.
A common but little-discussed feeling is homesickness—a deep longing for the love, peace, or unity they felt during the NDE. This can lead to what looks like depression, but is often existential grief.
Reassure them:
“It’s okay to have big, complicated feelings after something like that.”
“You’re not broken—something big happened, and it’s going to take time to integrate.”
Spiritual Support: Walking With Mystery
1. Be Comfortable With Not Knowing
NDEs challenge the boundaries of science, religion, and psychology. As a supporter, your greatest gift is not answers—but comfort with mystery.
Don’t try to impose spiritual interpretations. Let them come to their own conclusions.
Avoid saying:
“That was God talking to you.”
“It’s all part of a divine plan.”
“You’ve been chosen for a special mission.”
Unless they’ve invited that dialogue, stay grounded in presence, not philosophy.
2. Support Their Exploration
Many NDErs feel spiritually disoriented. Their experience may conflict with their religious upbringing, or they may now crave spiritual growth they never previously sought.
They may:
Question religious doctrines
Become more mystical or open to alternative spiritual paths
Seek deeper purpose or meaning
Experience intuitive or energetic sensitivity
Support them by saying:
“It makes sense that you’re questioning things after such a powerful experience.”
“I’m here to support you as you explore what this means to you.”
Practical Support: Helping With Life Adjustments
1. Understand the Re-Entry Challenges
Many NDErs feel like they’ve been unplugged from “normal life” and plugged into something else. It can be hard to return to routines, jobs, or roles that no longer feel authentic.
You might notice that your loved one:
Feels overwhelmed or overstimulated
Is suddenly uninterested in past hobbies or goals
Has trouble sleeping or concentrating
Talks more about death, love, energy, or spirit
Wants to quit their job or start a new path
This isn’t a phase—it’s a spiritual reorientation.
Help them slow down and not make impulsive decisions. But also be gentle if they feel called to realign their life.
2. Support Grounding Practices
Because NDEs are so expansive, grounding is essential. Encourage activities that help them reconnect with their body and the earth, like:
Walking barefoot in nature
Gardening
Gentle movement (yoga, tai chi)
Creative expression (writing, painting)
Cooking, cleaning, or other sensory tasks
These things may seem mundane, but they are anchors in the re-entry process.
Social and Relationship Support
1. Expect Changes in Personality or Priorities
You may notice that the person you love is different. They may seem softer, more open, or more withdrawn. They may speak differently, cry more easily, or stop tolerating things they once accepted.
Let go of trying to get them “back to normal.” That version of them may not exist anymore. Instead, try to fall in love with the version that has returned—the one who carries new insight, even if it makes them more tender or complex.
2. Let Go of Your Own Expectations
You may feel left behind, confused, or even hurt. That’s okay. Supporting someone after an NDE can be intense. You might worry that they’ve changed so much, your relationship can’t survive it.
Find ways to communicate with compassion. You might say:
“I’m struggling to understand what’s changed for you, but I care and I want to keep walking beside you.”
“What do you need from me right now?”
For Professionals: Therapists, Medical Staff, Carers
If you're in a professional role—therapist, doctor, chaplain, carer—your response matters more than you might realise.
Don’t pathologise their experience. Unless there is clear evidence of harm or delusion, do not jump to psychiatric labels. NDEs are not psychosis or hallucinations—they are spiritually transformative events.
Best Practices:
Use terms like “near-death experience” or “transpersonal experience” instead of “hallucination”
Ask open questions like: “What was that like for you?” or “What stayed with you most?”
Normalise that many people have these experiences and find them meaningful
Provide resources, including NDE support groups, books, and therapists trained in spiritual integration
Even one safe conversation can be life-changing.
Integration Is a Lifelong Journey
The NDE is not the end of a chapter. It is the beginning of a lifelong integration. Your support helps make this sacred unfolding possible.
They may revisit the experience again and again, seeing new layers over time. They may grieve what they left behind—and learn to treasure what they returned to. They may struggle. They may shine. They may feel lost at times.
Your role is to hold space for it all.
What You Can Say to Support Someone After an NDE
Here are some phrases that experiencers have found helpful:
“I believe you.”
“I don’t understand it all, but I’m here.”
“That sounds powerful—what has it changed for you?”
“How can I support you right now?”
“Take all the time you need to process this.”
“You’re not alone.”
Conclusion: Your Presence Is the Medicine
Near-death experiences can feel like touching the divine—then falling into a world that no longer fits. Those who return often do so carrying light, love, and confusion in equal measure.
To support someone after an NDE is not to fix them or understand everything they’ve seen. It is to walk with them, slowly and gently, as they learn to live with what they’ve touched.
You don’t have to have the answers. You don’t need the right words. Your presence—quiet, open, and respectful—is the greatest gift of all.
You are holding space for a soul in transformation.
You are making their return a little softer, a little safer, a little more sacred.
Dr Lily Amorous
The NDE Connexion | www.thendeconnexion.com.au
