When the Light Overwhelms: How to Support a Loved One Facing a Spiritual Emergency After a Near-Death Experience
Dr Lily Amorous The NDE Connexion
Near-death experiences (NDEs) are often described as deeply loving, peaceful, and even euphoric events. But what happens when the return to everyday life brings not clarity, but confusion? Not peace, but psychological or spiritual crisis? For some NDErs, the intensity of their experience does not gently integrate into their lives—it erupts into a period of acute distress known as a spiritual emergency.
If you are a partner, friend, or family member of someone who has had an NDE and is now navigating a spiritual or psychological crisis, this blog is for you. With compassion, clarity, and grounded insight, we’ll explore how you can support your loved one through this deeply vulnerable time—and care for yourself along the way.
What Is a Spiritual Emergency?
A spiritual emergency is a term used to describe a crisis that occurs during a process of spiritual awakening or transformation. First popularised by Dr. Stanislav and Christina Grof, spiritual emergencies can include overwhelming mystical experiences, altered states of consciousness, or intense psychological upheaval following a spiritually significant event.
In the case of NDErs, spiritual emergencies may arise as they try to reconcile their extraordinary experience with the ordinary world. The resulting distress can include:
Feelings of disorientation or unreality
Emotional overwhelm or despair
Heightened sensitivity to light, sound, or energy
Loss of interest in everyday responsibilities
Unexplained spiritual or paranormal phenomena
Fear of going "crazy"
Intense longing for the peace or presence of the NDE
This state may look like a mental health crisis on the surface—but it is also a sign of a profound inner transformation unfolding.
How to Recognise a Spiritual Emergency in Your Loved One
You may be witnessing a spiritual emergency if your loved one:
Seems deeply changed since their NDE
Is struggling with sleep, eating, or basic functioning
Expresses confusion about their identity or purpose
Talks about otherworldly visions, visitations, or synchronicities
Feels afraid, overwhelmed, or isolated
Withdraws from relationships or daily responsibilities
Importantly, this is not just a phase—and it is not something they can simply "snap out of." The inner terrain they are navigating may be disorienting and sacred at the same time.
Your Role as a Partner or Family Member
You do not need to have all the answers. Your role is not to diagnose or fix. What your loved one most needs is your steady, loving presence—and a safe space in which to be fully seen.
Here are ways you can offer grounded, compassionate support:
1. Believe Them
Even if their experience seems strange or hard to relate to, trust that it is real and meaningful to them. Avoid dismissive phrases like, "It was just a dream" or "You're overthinking it." Instead, say:
"That sounds intense. I'm here with you."
2. Normalize the Process
Let them know that spiritual crises can happen, especially after experiences as powerful as an NDE. Share that many people go through similar challenges and emerge stronger. Validation can bring enormous relief.
3. Help Them Feel Safe
Create an environment of calm and gentleness. Reduce sensory overload, offer warm food or a comforting blanket, and maintain a slow, quiet presence. Your nervous system can help co-regulate theirs.
4. Encourage Grounding
Gently invite them to reconnect with the body and the present moment. You might say:
"Would it help to walk outside together?"
"Let’s sit and have some tea in the garden."
"How does your body feel right now?"
Avoid forcing grounding techniques—offer them as gentle options.
5. Offer Practical Support
They may be unable to manage daily tasks. Helping with meals, scheduling, or childcare/petcare can reduce overwhelm. Prioritise what brings stability.
6. Avoid Pathologising
It’s easy to panic when a loved one seems "not themselves," but framing their experience only as a mental illness can add shame and alienation. If medical or psychiatric care is needed, choose professionals who are spiritually informed or open-minded.
When Mental Health Crisis and Spiritual Emergency Overlap
There are times when a spiritual emergency includes elements of a mental health crisis. If your loved one is:
Having thoughts of self-harm
Experiencing fear invoking and/or harmful paranormal events, thoughts, or feelings
Becoming unable to function or communicate
At risk of harm to themselves or others
… it is critical to ensure safety first. In these cases:
Stay calm and loving
Contact a trauma-informed therapist or crisis service
Do not argue or confront—prioritise de-escalation
You can still honour the spiritual meaning of the experience while taking protective steps. Safety and spirituality are not mutually exclusive.
Understanding Their Internal Struggle
Here’s what your loved one may be wrestling with beneath the surface:
Loss of Identity: They may feel like the person they used to be has "died."
Longing for the Beyond: The beauty of the NDE may make earthly life feel dull or even unbearable.
Existential Grief: They may mourn the contrast between what they saw and the suffering in the world.
Fear of Misunderstanding: They may worry about being labelled, mocked, or institutionalised.
Understanding this can help you hold their experience with greater tenderness. They are not choosing distress—they are navigating a deep, often lonely, metamorphosis.
Helpful Phrases to Say
"I believe you."
"You don’t have to go through this alone."
"Your experience matters."
"We’ll find a way through this together."
"You’re not broken. Something sacred is unfolding."
What Not to Say
"You’re imagining things."
"You’re scaring me."
"You need to get over this."
"Just think positively."
"Why can’t you be normal again?"
These kinds of comments, even when well-meaning, can increase shame and intensify the crisis.
Taking Care of Yourself
Supporting someone in spiritual crisis can be emotionally demanding. You may feel fear, confusion, resentment, or grief. Your needs matter too.
Seek your own support: Talk to a counsellor or support group familiar with spiritual emergence.
Set boundaries: It’s okay to say, “I need a break, but I’ll be back soon.”
Rest and nourish yourself: You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Practice self-compassion: You’re doing your best in a deeply complex situation.
Remember, your steady presence is powerful—but you are not responsible for fixing everything.
Finding Professional Help
Look for therapists, psychologists, or spiritual directors who:
Understand NDEs and spiritually transformative experiences
Are trauma-informed
Are Neurodivergent-affirming
Respect spiritual frameworks outside of traditional religion
Practice gentle, non-pathologising care
Trusted resources include:
The Spiritual Emergence Network (SEN)
International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS)
The NDE Connexion (Australia-based support)
What Recovery and Integration Can Look Like
With time, compassion, and proper support, many people emerge from spiritual emergencies:
More connected to their authentic self
Aligned with new values and purpose
Emotionally wiser and more compassionate
Grateful for your steady presence
Healing does not mean returning to “how things were.” It means emerging more whole—both for them and for you.
Final Words
It takes immense courage to walk beside someone in a spiritual emergency. To witness their unraveling without running, to hold space for their truth without needing to fix it—this is a profound act of love.
If your partner, friend, or family member is going through such a passage, know this: you are not alone. There is guidance. There is support.
Dr Lily Amorous and The NDE Connexion offer specialised guidance and therapeutic support for experiencers and their loved ones navigating spiritual crisis. Learn more at www.thendeconnexion.com.au.
