The Ethics of Intuitive Abilities: Consent, Boundaries, and the Weight of Psychic Perception
NDEr Opinion Piece
In a world increasingly fascinated by spirituality, intuitive gifts, and psychic phenomena, it can be easy to romanticise or commodify these abilities. People flock to mediums, ask their friends if they “sense anything,” and jokingly demand “party tricks” from those they believe can peer behind the veil. But what is often left out of the conversation is the ethical landscape of intuitive sensitivity—the impact of unsolicited psychic disclosures, the burden on those who carry heightened perception, and the importance of consent.
This conversation becomes even more urgent in the context of near-death experiencers (NDErs), many of whom return with profoundly expanded awareness, including clairvoyance, clairsentience, precognition, and mediumistic perception. For many, these are not abilities they sought, trained for, or welcomed—they are the result of something sacred and sometimes traumatic.
This opinion piece explores the ethics of psychic and intuitive abilities, particularly as they emerge or intensify following NDEs. It considers the importance of consent, boundaries, emotional responsibility, and the deep personal cost that intuitive people often carry.
A Moment That Changed Everything
Before my own NDE, I had a healthy scepticism toward psychic phenomena. I had met self-proclaimed clairvoyants, mediums, and “medical intuitives”—many of whom seemed more focused on the attention of “being special” “chosen” than service. One moment stands out.
A friend—charismatic, self-assured, always proclaiming his own destined psychic stardom—once shouted across the room:
“OMG! Lily, your uncle just walked behind you!”
My uncle had recently died of cancer. It had been a horrific, slow, painful decline. I could barely hold the grief, let alone have it thrown at me like that. And worst of all? I knew my friend was lying. I felt nothing. Even before my NDE, I had a deep awareness of spiritual presence. And he, my uncle, wasn’t there behind me.
It was cruel.
It was dishonest.
And it was traumatic.
That moment became the tipping point. I turned away from spiritual communities entirely. I was disgusted by the repeated experiences of self proclaimed ‘intuitive, enlightened'’ people using others’ pain to feed their own ego. I saw how often psychic ability was weaponised under the guise of connection. I saw how often grief was used as a stage for performance.
Then the NDE Happened
And everything changed.
I died. I crossed over. I returned.
And with me came ‘gifts’ I had not asked for—intuitive abilities so heightened that my daily functioning is utterly disrupted. Crowds have become unbearable. Conversations are now saturated with unspoken truths I haven’t asked to know. I sense medical issues, affairs, childhood traumas—floods of information that can feel invasive, destabilising, and often distressing.
Suddenly, I was on the other side of the line. I was no longer an outsider looking in. I was living it. And it wasn’t a performance. It wasn’t stardom. It wasn’t fun.
It was overwhelming.
It was sacred.
And it demanded discernment.
This Is Not a Party Trick
On the rare occasion when a health professional has asked, “How are you really doing?” and I’ve spoken honestly about the difficulty of integrating my psychic abilities post-NDE, the response is almost always the same:
“So… what do you see about me?”
In that instant, everything I’ve just shared—my pain, my disorientation, my spiritual transformation—vanishes. I am no longer a person struggling to exist in a hyper-stimulating world. I am now entertainment.
Even worse, I know what happens next. I will start seeing things. That’s how this works. Once someone asks, the channel opens even wider. I receive floods of information I didn’t seek and can’t easily shut down. And now I’m left holding it—someone else’s secrets, trauma, truth. They’ve gone home feeling intrigued or satisfied. I go home overwhelmed, exhausted, and alone.
What People Don’t Understand
Psychic ability—particularly when it comes uninvited after an NDE—is not a performance. It’s not a skill to be “activated” on command. It’s not a choice. It’s a state of being.
The cost is immense:
Inability to leave the house without emotional bombardment
Struggles maintaining relationships due to energetic overload
Insomnia, sensory overwhelm, and physical exhaustion
Fear of being asked, “What do you see?” and having to navigate the ethics of answering
Grief for the life I had before
This is not a talent.
This is not entertainment.
This is a spiritual burden that requires care, regulation, and enormous ethical responsibility.
The Ethics of Intuitive Disclosure
This brings us to the heart of the matter: ethics.
Just because I receive information about someone does not mean I have the right to share it.
And just because someone wants to know doesn’t mean they have the right to ask.
Consent Must Go Both Ways
Ethical psychic work begins and ends with consent. You do not have the right to read someone’s energy, offer a message from a deceased loved one, or speak about someone’s trauma unless they’ve explicitly invited that kind of exchange.
Conversely, people do not have the right to demand a psychic reading from someone—especially when that person has just disclosed the pain and cost of living with these abilities.
Consent isn’t a one-way door. It’s mutual.
Before you share what you sense: ask if the person wants to know.
Before you ask what someone senses about you: ask if they’re willing to open that channel.
The Hidden Harm of Unsolicited Readings
Uninvited psychic disclosures—like the one my friend performed about my uncle—cause real harm.
Emotional Harm
They can re-traumatise, trigger grief, create confusion, or cause psychological distress.
Relational Harm
They damage trust, especially when the information is incorrect, distorted, or delivered insensitively.
Spiritual Harm
They disrespect the boundaries of the dead. Mediumship is not a summoning spell. Souls are not on-call messengers to soothe your discomfort.
The Ethics of Mediumship and the Dead
Another vital consideration: the dead have their own rights.
People often say, “Can you get my grandmother?” or “Is anyone there for me?”—as though souls are waiting backstage like performers.
They’re not.
In mediumship, the soul chooses whether to come forward.
If they don’t, it’s not failure—it’s respect.
The ethics of spiritual communication require that we approach the dead with reverence, not entitlement.
Medical Intuition and Personal Truths
Receiving information about someone’s body, mind, or past can feel like a sacred trust. But even when the information is accurate, it can do harm when shared carelessly.
Imagine this:
A psychic tells you your partner is cheating.
A medium tells you your mother’s death was your fault.
A medical intuitive says you have cancer before a doctor does.
Even if it’s “true,” if it’s delivered without permission, compassion, or context, it can traumatise, derail, or devastate.
The gift must be matched with maturity, timing, and boundaries.
The Lure of the Psychic
For those who do not carry these abilities, it’s easy to become fascinated, enchanted, or even addicted to intuitive insight. You may think you're asking an innocent question:
“What do you see about me?”
“Can you tell me what my future holds?”
“Do you see any spirits around me?”
But when you ask this of someone who is struggling to function in the world due to their psychic sensitivity, you're placing a heavy burden on a person already overwhelmed by input.
You’re asking for entertainment from someone who is enduring a spiritual transformation.
You’re reducing a sacred state to a spectacle.
Please don’t.
Even Within the Community: Power Can Be Misused
One of the most disillusioning experiences I had after my NDE didn’t come from a sceptic or a medical professional—it came from a fellow experiencer.
I had reached out to another NDEr for support in the early, fragile stages of my integration. I was raw, overwhelmed by the sudden onset of intuitive phenomena, and simply seeking grounding—someone who had been through it, who could walk beside me with understanding and care.
But instead, they tested me.
They asked, “Are there any spirits in the room right now?”
Then: “Where are they standing? What do they look like?”
It wasn’t gentle curiosity—it was a challenge, a kind of psychic interrogation.
Luckily, I passed—whatever that meant to them. But I walked away from that encounter feeling shaken, and disappointed. I hadn’t been met as a soul in need of witnessing. I had been tested, as though I needed to earn my place in the community by performing spiritual accuracy under pressure.
This wasn’t about connection. It was a power trip. And it left me feeling just as dismissed as when professionals scoff or spiritual bypassers invalidate.
The truth is—just because someone has had an NDE doesn’t mean they are emotionally safe or ethically aware. We are all still human. And no one has the right to leverage spiritual power to test, diminish, or interrogate another soul—especially one in a vulnerable state of emergence.
Even in spiritual circles, consent matters. Safety matters. Humility matters.
If You’re Psychic, Ask Yourself:
Am I sharing this information because it serves the other person—or because it serves me?
Have they given clear consent to receive this message?
Do I have the grounding, emotional maturity, and ethical clarity to hold this information?
Am I disclosing something that might destabilise or harm them?
Can I hold the outcome of this disclosure responsibly?
If You’re Curious About Someone’s Intuition, Ask Yourself:
Have they indicated they are open to sharing insights right now?
Are they emotionally well, grounded, and resourced enough to hold this?
Do I understand the potential cost to them if I ask?
Am I asking to connect—or to be entertained?
Have I respected their humanity before asking for their gift?
How We Begin to Heal This Dynamic
To restore balance between intuitive people and those seeking guidance, we must rebuild a culture of mutual respect.
For Intuitives/NDErs:
Set boundaries unapologetically.
Name the cost.
Educate others on consent and energetic ethics.
For Seekers/Clients/Professionals:
Approach with reverence, not demand.
Accept when the answer is “no.”
Honour the person before the ability.
Educate yourself on consent and energetic ethics.
A Sacred Reminder
To those who experience the world psychically:
You are not here to perform.
You are not here to absorb.
You are not here to carry everyone else’s pain.
You are allowed to say:
“I can’t speak to that right now.”
“I didn’t ask for this information, and I need to let it pass.”
“I’m not here to prove myself.”
And to those who seek insight:
Please, do not ask for more than the person has offered.
Do not treat the sacred like a novelty.
Do not confuse intuition with obligation.
Final Thoughts: The Sacred Must Be Protected
The aftermath of an NDE is not just about light and peace. It’s also about navigating a world that no longer fits. When psychic awareness comes uninvited, it requires containment, compassion, and community support. And above all, it requires ethics.
If we want to honour intuitive gifts, we must honour the people who carry them.
If we want to benefit from insight, we must offer consent.
If we want to access the sacred, we must approach it with reverence—not entitlement.
The spiritual world is not here for our entertainment. It is here for our evolution. And it begins with how we treat one another.
