Spiritual Countertransference: The Unseen Dynamic Between Clinicians and Near-Death Experiencers
By Dr Lily Amorous – The NDE Connexion
Therapeutic relationships are never neutral. They are human, relational, and inherently complex. For doctors and clinicians working with clients who have experienced a near-death experience (NDE), this complexity deepens—not only emotionally and cognitively, but spiritually.
Near-death experiencers (NDErs) often present with stories and energy that challenge the rational mind, stir existential questions, and evoke awe, fear, or longing in the listener. These encounters may reach beyond the personal into the sacred. And for the clinician, this can stir something powerful, unacknowledged, and under-discussed: spiritual countertransference.
In this article, we’ll explore what spiritual countertransference is, how and why it arises in work with NDErs, the subtle ways it can show up in sessions, and how to recognise and work with it—so that it becomes not a risk, but a doorway to deeper therapeutic presence.
What Is Spiritual Countertransference?
Countertransference, in its broadest sense, refers to the clinician’s emotional, cognitive, and somatic reactions to the client—often rooted in the clinician’s own unconscious material.
Spiritual countertransference is a subset of this, referring specifically to the clinician’s unconscious spiritual, existential, or transpersonal projections onto the client.
This might include:
Projecting unprocessed spiritual longing onto the client
Interpreting the client’s experience through one’s own beliefs
Feeling envy or awe that disrupts therapeutic neutrality
Seeing the client as a spiritual teacher or visionary
Projecting spiritual trauma, disgust, and fear onto the client
Wanting the client to fulfil or affirm the clinician’s own search for meaning
Spiritual countertransference is not inherently bad. In fact, it’s inevitable. The problem arises when it goes unacknowledged—leading to ethical breaches, role confusion, or subtle dynamics that compromise the client’s autonomy and safety.
Why NDErs Evoke Spiritual Countertransference
Working with NDErs is not like typical therapy. These clients often bring:
Vivid accounts of otherworldly experiences
Descriptions of unconditional love, divine light, or soul purpose
Deep existential crises and transformation
Paranormal abilities or sensitivities
Feelings of being “sent back” to complete a mission
These stories touch the sacred. They raise questions about life, death, God, meaning, and purpose. If the clinician has not grappled with these themes themselves—or has unresolved spiritual wounds—they may unconsciously lean on the client to fill those gaps.
Common triggers include:
The clinician’s own fear of death
Personal spiritual curiosity or longing
Past religious trauma
Envy of the NDEr’s clarity or sense of purpose
Discomfort with mystery or ambiguity
A desire to “belong” to something transcendent
NDErs—by their very presence—can become symbolic figures in the clinician’s inner world: guides, prophets, martyrs, seers. When that happens, the therapeutic relationship risks becoming distorted.
How Spiritual Countertransference Shows Up
Spiritual countertransference is subtle. It rarely announces itself loudly. Instead, it emerges in tone, attitude, body language, and presence.
Here are some of the most common expressions in clinical settings:
1. Idealisation or Spiritual Pedestal-Placing
The clinician may see the NDEr as special, lucky, chosen, or uniquely enlightened. While often well-intentioned, this can dehumanise the client, make it hard for them to express confusion or pain, and limit authentic therapeutic connection.
“You’re so lucky to have experienced that.”
“You must be so spiritually advanced.”
2. Dismissal or Minimisation
If the clinician is uncomfortable with spirituality, they may subtly downplay the NDE.
“That sounds like a powerful dream.”
“What do you think your brain was doing in that moment?”
“Do you think anti-psychotic medication would be helpful to reduce your paranormal abilities?”
This form of countertransference may stem from the therapist’s own fear of mystery or belief that science must explain everything.
3. Projection of Personal Beliefs
The clinician may unconsciously overlay their own cosmology onto the client’s experience.
“It sounds like you met your higher self.”
“Perhaps that was an angel from the Christian tradition.”
Even positive projections can displace the client’s meaning-making process.
4. Over-identification and Emotional Enmeshment
The clinician may feel overly emotional or resonant with the client’s story—crying, revealing too much personal material, or losing therapeutic boundaries.
“I’ve always wanted something like that to happen to me.”
“You have no idea how much your story has touched me.”
This can leave the client feeling responsible for the clinician's emotional state.
5. Spiritual Bypass or Reframing
The clinician may encourage the client to “focus on the light” or interpret trauma as “lessons” without fully holding their pain.
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“This suffering is part of your soul’s growth.”
This bypasses the client’s lived experience in favour of tidy spiritual narratives.
Signs You May Be Experiencing Spiritual Countertransference
Reflection and supervision are key to noticing these dynamics. Ask yourself:
Do I feel unusually inspired, in awe, or intimidated by this client?
Am I yearning for them to guide me in some way?
Do I feel disconnected, sceptical, or resistant to their story?
Do I avoid or steer away from their spiritual content?
Do I feel like I need to be “spiritually credible” in their eyes?
Am I projecting a particular role onto them (prophet, teacher, wounded healer)?
Do I feel emotionally activated during or after sessions?
These signs don’t mean you’re failing. They mean you’re human—and that your therapeutic presence is being invited to grow.
The Risks of Unaddressed Spiritual Countertransference
Left unchecked, spiritual countertransference can lead to:
Loss of therapeutic neutrality
Role confusion or dual relationships
Projection of spiritual agendas
Emotional burdening of the client
Dismissal or misinterpretation of the NDE
Missed opportunities for authentic integration
In some cases, it can even lead to clinical harm—particularly if the client’s trauma, grief, or confusion is minimised or romanticised in the name of “spiritual awakening.” This can result in the client not being heard and attended to if they experience suicide ideation or intent.
How to Work With and Heal Spiritual Countertransference
🧘♀️ 1. Deepen Self-Awareness
Take time to explore your own spiritual beliefs, wounds, and biases. Reflect on:
Your relationship to death, divinity, and mystery
Your sense of self, purpose, way of life, relationships, and your honesty about this
Any experiences of spiritual trauma or longing
The ways your beliefs shape how you hear the client’s story
The more you know your own inner landscape, the less likely you are to project it onto others.
2. Use Supervision Wisely
Seek supervision that includes space for spiritual content—not just diagnostic or procedural concerns. Name your reactions openly. Process your emotions. Welcome feedback.
If your supervisor isn’t spiritually informed, consider peer consultation with colleagues who are.
3. Educate Yourself
Learn about near-death experiences, transpersonal psychology, and spiritual integration models. The more you understand the terrain, the less it will feel mysterious or overwhelming.
Familiar sources include:
IANDS (International Association for Near-Death Studies)
Academic studies on spiritual emergencies and STEs
Memoirs and clinical texts from NDErs and researchers
4. Clarify Your Role
You are not the client’s spiritual teacher, interpreter, or disciple. Your role is to hold space for their meaning-making. Return to your scope of practice. If needed, refer to spiritual directors or peer support groups.
Maintain therapeutic boundaries, even when the work feels sacred.
5. Practice Personal Integration
Tend to your own spirituality outside of session. The more your own spiritual life is grounded, the less you will rely on your clients to nourish it for you.
This inner work creates stability and humility.
6. Honour the Mystery
Let go of the need to explain or categorise. Your client’s NDE may never make logical sense—and that’s okay. Your presence, curiosity, and reverence matter more than your understanding.
A Healing Presence Beyond Belief
Working with NDErs can be transformative—for client and clinician alike. These sessions often feel like stepping into sacred ground. And with that sacredness comes responsibility.
When spiritual countertransference is acknowledged, named, and integrated, it becomes a source of deepening, not distortion. It humbles the clinician. It strengthens the relationship. And it clears the way for true healing—not just psychological, but spiritual.
Final Thoughts
Spiritual countertransference is not a flaw. It is an invitation.
It invites us to know ourselves.
To hold space more cleanly.
To respect the sacred without grasping for it.
To honour the client’s story without inserting our own.
As clinicians, we are not immune to awe. But we are called to hold it with discernment.
If you are a therapist, doctor, or allied health professional working with NDErs and seeking spiritual supervision, training, or support in your own integration, The NDE Connexion offers reflective, compassionate spaces just for you.
Dr Lily Amorous
The NDE Connexion | www.thendeconnexion.com.au
