The Silence That Harms: The Dangers of Shutting Down Near-Death Experiencers in Clinical Settings
By Dr Lily Amorous – The NDE Connexion
Near-death experiences (NDEs) are among the most profound, transformative, and disorienting events a person can live through. They are moments that pierce the veil between life and death—often resulting in psychological shifts, spiritual awakenings, and lasting changes in worldview. And yet, in clinical settings, these experiences are frequently met not with curiosity or reverence, but with discomfort, dismissal, or outright silencing.
When doctors, nurses, psychologists, or allied health professionals shut down a patient or client attempting to speak about an NDE, the damage is not just relational—it can be psychological, emotional, and even existential.
In this article, we’ll explore the serious dangers of shutting down near-death experiencers (NDErs), why it happens, what it communicates to the experiencer, and how we can foster safer, more open conversations in clinical spaces.
What Happens When Someone Has an NDE?
Near-death experiences are typically described by those who have come close to physical death—either through cardiac arrest, trauma, illness, or surgery. Though each NDE is unique, common themes include:
A sense of leaving the body
Moving through a tunnel or into a light
Feeling surrounded by unconditional love
Life review or timeless insight
Encountering deceased loved ones or spiritual beings
A sense of unity with all things
Being told or sensing it is “not time yet” and returning
These experiences are often deeply real to the individual—more real than reality itself. They leave a profound impact on the experiencer’s values, emotions, and sense of identity.
Why Do Health Professionals Shut Down NDEs?
Clinicians do not typically mean to cause harm. But several unconscious or systemic dynamics may drive this pattern of shutting down:
Lack of Training or Familiarity
Most medical and psychological education does not include curriculum on NDEs or spiritually transformative experiences (STEs). Without a framework to make sense of what’s being shared, clinicians may default to denial, redirection, or clinical rationalisation.
Fear of Encouraging “Delusions”
There may be a concern that discussing the NDE validates psychosis or fuels magical thinking. In highly medicalised environments, anything that falls outside biological explanation may be interpreted as dangerous or unstable.
Time Pressure and Efficiency Culture
Hospital settings, in particular, often prioritise efficiency over patient storytelling. A disclosure that doesn’t seem “medically relevant” may be viewed as a distraction from clinical priorities.
Discomfort with Death or Spirituality
Some clinicians have unprocessed grief, existential fears, trauma, or discomfort with the unknown. Spiritual stories—especially ones that suggest the soul, afterlife, or non-physical dimensions—can feel threatening or unsettling.
Professional Boundaries and Fear of Overstepping
Others may worry that exploring the NDE ventures into the territory of religion or spiritual guidance, which lies outside their perceived scope of practice.
The result? A subtle—or sometimes blunt—message that says: “That’s not something we talk about here.”
The Impact of Being Shut Down
When a clinician silences an NDEr, the impact is not neutral. It can cause deep and lasting psychological and spiritual harm.
1. Invalidation of a Core Experience
The NDE is often the most meaningful, transformative event of a person’s life. To have that dismissed is not just annoying—it is devastating. It tells the experiencer that their truth is not welcome or believable.
“She just looked at me like I was crazy and changed the subject. I never mentioned it again.”
2. Deepened Isolation
Most NDErs already feel alone in their experience. They may struggle to talk with family, friends, or colleagues about what they went through. When a health professional also dismisses them, it cements the sense that there is no safe place to bring this part of themselves.
“I thought maybe I really was going mad.”
3. Increased Shame and Self-Doubt
Being met with scepticism or coldness can cause the experiencer to question their sanity, worth, or spiritual clarity. This can deepen trauma and block integration of the experience.
“I left feeling ashamed for even bringing it up.”
4. Halted Healing and Integration
The process of speaking one’s truth is often essential for healing. When the client is forced into silence, their integration is stalled. They may feel fragmented, emotionally stuck, or cut off from their inner transformation.
“I didn’t just lose my life—I lost the only people who could have helped me understand it.”
How This Silence Affects the Clinician-Client Relationship
Loss of Therapeutic Alliance
When a clinician shuts down a story—especially one as personal as an NDE—it erodes trust. The client may continue showing up, but the depth of the relationship is compromised. They are no longer fully present.
Emotional Withholding
The client may begin to censor what they say, share only what they think is “acceptable,” or withhold crucial emotional information. This limits the therapeutic process.
Incomplete Clinical Picture
By shutting down the NDE, clinicians may miss the root of existential grief, trauma responses, or even new strengths and capacities that have emerged. Misdiagnosis or inadequate treatment may follow.
The Ethical and Human Responsibility to Listen
Healthcare is not just about treating illness—it’s about recognising the whole person. When a client brings forward a story that redefines their understanding of life, death, and meaning, they are placing something sacred in our hands.
Listening to an NDE is not about agreeing—it is about honouring.
It does not require spiritual expertise. It requires humility, presence, and a willingness to be with mystery.
How to Respond Instead: Simple Shifts That Change Everything
If you’re a health professional, here are some ways to hold space for an NDE without overstepping your role:
Validate the Experience
“Thank you for trusting me with that.”
“That sounds like it had a big impact on you.”
Be Curious, Not Clinical
“Would you like to share more about what happened?”
“How has this affected your view of life or yourself?”
Hold Uncertainty Gently
“I don’t know how to explain what you experienced, but I can see it mattered deeply to you.”
“We don’t have to make sense of it today. It’s okay to sit with the mystery. I’m here as long as you need”
Use Open Language
Avoid reductive labels like hallucination, delusion, or fantasy. Use the client’s own words. Reflect rather than interpret.
Refer When Appropriate
If spiritual integration lies outside your scope, refer the client to a spiritually-informed therapist, chaplain, or NDE support group. Know that this is not rejection—it is care.
Building Systems That Honour the Whole Person
It’s not enough to make room for NDEs one-on-one. Our systems of care must evolve to include the full range of human experience, including spiritual and transpersonal events.
Hospitals, clinics, and mental health services can support this shift by:
Including training on NDEs and STEs in professional development
Developing guidelines for spiritual assessment and referral pathways
Fostering interprofessional dialogue around meaning, mystery, and healing
Encouraging peer support for clinicians processing these stories
A Final Reflection
Silencing an NDEr is never a neutral act. It says: Your story is too strange. Your truth is unwelcome. Your transformation is inconvenient.
But when we listen—truly listen—we say: You belong. You are seen. What happened to you matters.
Clinicians may not have all the answers. But we can become better question-askers, better witnesses, better companions on the journey.
You don’t need to believe what your client believes. But you do need to believe in them—their wholeness, their healing, their humanity.
At The NDE Connexion, we believe in the power of safe, reverent space for these stories. If you are a health professional seeking support in learning how to better meet NDErs with skill and care, we welcome you to join us.
Dr Lily Amorous
The NDE Connexion | www.thendeconnexion.com.au
